I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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