I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize