Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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