I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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