I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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