a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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