Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
