So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
