So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
