you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
