i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
