So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
