Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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