Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You are the jesus of drinking
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
