Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Randomize
