are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
