big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Randomize
