She's JV to your varsity
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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