I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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