can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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