wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
