I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
