I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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