she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
