Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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