yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
