i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
