They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
