My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
