I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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