Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
