At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize