the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
