Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
