Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
