I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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