maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
