The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Please, let me fuck your mom
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize