Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
