Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
