Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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