Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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