i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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