please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
