I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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