Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize