I just pynch a tree in the face
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
