like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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