we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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