Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
