remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He better not be in your backpack
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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