im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
