I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
