Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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