whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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