When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
