If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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