So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
