accomplished twins. life is a go
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sober January is a disaster.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
