How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
