I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
