i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His hands were made for my vagina.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
