I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
where am i from again
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
