There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
