OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he was CRYING into my vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
