I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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