Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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