So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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