last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
