Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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