Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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