He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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